Tuesday, April 28

it's all over between us.
ii knew something wasn't right the second ii saw you .
it just proved my suspicion when you avoided the questions.

so wow ..
nice one rensen !
2words for you ..
FUCKK OFF !!
never have ii love&hate someone so much at the same time.
ii thought you were diff..
you even told me you aint like the others.
but you proved yourself wrong,
and me right.

why the hell did ii trust you in the first place ?
FUCKK LA !
forget it ..
you dont even have the guts to continue using tagged
just cos i'm now considered as your ex..
bet i'm the shortest ex right !?
_l_

thanks&sorry for everything .

Saturday, April 25

okays ~
now got time to have a fast update lurs
before ii start spamming maple for korkorr x.x
from just green flower&adrian having my number,
now jitao spread to the rest x.x
*BAHHS !!

thanks botak, green flower&adrian for your concern
thanks green flower&botak for sms-ing
to find out more on the reasons {x
sorry if ii caused the group to worry x.x

&at last ii got all the books *sibei heavy lors* -.-
and ii also got my face masks now !! xD
yea yea ~

&today deardearr's gonna be booking outttttttttttttt !! ^^v
hees ~
but i'm broke yet again cos forgot to ask money from mummy ytd /=
i'm always broke on fri cos i'm always forgetting to ask money from mumsie x.x
sceeschh ~

ytd*fri*
was 1hr late for lesson thanks to kenneth -.-
botak, adrian &me have to wait for him at woodlands mrt for coming 30mins ,!
green flower was waiting for us at yishun bus interchange ~
then they still can go smoke first before going class *faints*

went to work out at gym for sw
&ii didnt bring my shorts so ii just work out with my pe shirt&own skirt
LOL

they smoked again after sch then train-ed home
went swimming with fuliangKOR&zijiaKOR soon after ii reached home
wanted to sleep but in the end,
prepared and headed to toh guan road to find JunHao&friends
after their soccer ~
slacked till 11 then headed home {x

okays ~
end here for now..
&i'm falling ill T.T
&ii miss deardearr lotsa !! *CRIESSSSSSSSSS*

but somehow ..
something tells me something in my heart ..
i'm not secure

Friday, April 24

for now i'm just gonna upload the photos from wayneGF's blog yupps.
ii needa rush to prepare go swimming !!
LOL


first of ~
my scar x.x
still looks raw ehhs /=


wayneGF took this&it's nice xD


*right-left: wayneGF; pearlBBMEI; me*


*left - right; wayneGF, pearlBBMEII, me*


*right-left: pearlBBMEII, me, wayneGF*

wayneGF&me {x


the normal to 'dirty' advertisement for our 1.5L bottle water* =x


lalalas ~



*muackmuackks* x33





wayneGF- blueberry crumble pie
me - apple crumble pie
from HANS ^^






Wednesday, April 22

at last green flower came to sch today
didnt have my music with me today as my ipod hang =.=
thus ii was reading book otw to school x.x
then while walking from yishun mrt to the bus interchange,
ii was reading then suddenly ZOOMMM ~ goes my book !
ii was like HUH !!?!!
guess what !?
green flower took it -.-
LOL
idiot him !

teacher was LATE !!
*rarrs !*
went toilet without anything and guess what happen when ii came back ?
unknown number calling me -.-
had a strong feeling it's green flower .
called back dunno how many times but no answer,
then ii sms-ed saying,"erm, who are you,? &why you call ,?"
then the person replied,"guess who am i! You are my angel"
-.-
then ii replied,"how i know who are you !?"
then bo reply lurs ~

break time ii tried calling again,
then green flower was acting like machum he calling someone
*ii aint dumb lors*
so when we reached at the coffeeshop
&let them buy their food first,
ii asked botak to lend me his phone and dialed the number
&I WAS RIGHT !! xD
it's TEO JING HUA'S NUMBER !!
LOL
ganna busted liaos ^^v
*bleaghh ~

now the group has gone up from 3main ppl to main ppl
only 2other guys&me dont smoke,
the other 3 kukus smoke smoke smoke -.-
hahas, but fun lurs XD

after sch adrian&green flower followed me to find wayneGF {x
then met pearlBBMEIMEII soon after,
both smallboy was dying to smoke la -.-
idiots !
LOL
so let them go smoke lors thus went to mac,
then they sit outside while we girls sit inside.

then green flower msged me say they go lurs ~
LOL
then next was adrian -.-
wth ~
soon my number sure pass around liaos *curses*

then walked around then went to amk
ate at MOSburger then went to under the mrt track there
talking bout girls stuffs among ourselves xD
lalalas ~

then walked around amk&slack then headed home {x
hees

Tuesday, April 21

having to come home to an empty hse after sch,
it somehow makes your whole heart empty too ~
it's always like this since young,
tt's why ii always would stick to my bro when he's home,
but he's always having his own friends.

now back in ite again,
going to sch&dressing differently from others,
ii guess ii give others the aura of 'get away from me'
&that's when ii was surprised when green flower even started talking to me,
ii thought i'd just be a loner again,
but no ~
i'm surrounded by guys who try to click with me.
who bothered to ask me where i'm going after sch,
even just striking up a conversation shows alot {x
this post would never be known to them,
but i'm just typing for the sake of acknowledging them
&thanking them ~

yes ii admit ii like the attention x.x
well, at least enjoy it in sch cos back home..
i'd just be facing my own bedroom walls,
listening to high society classical music&reading book ~
so now,
each day ii look forward for the next day of sch
as that's the only place of happiness for me now
*girls, you're included but this post is bout my ite so yupps^^
my happiness is also with you all kies*
*LOVES*

mummy's feeling down,
&ii know the whole thing even though she told me only part of it,
cos ..
ii went to read her diary =x
sorry but mummy's diary is the only diary tt ii read in my life
cos as a mother, she wont tell her children much right ?
so since the diary is there on her table,
so i just took it and read ..
but yet ii think ~
why do i read when i could do nth..

life's complications could never be solve..

sch's not as interesting as green flower hasn't come to sch for 2 days.
&ii wonder wth did he told smallboy&botak -.-
on mon they suddenly say,"ehhs ~ your bf not here today le"
ii was like HUH !?!?
then ii pointed to jackjack then said,
"na ! jackjack's my bf ! xD"
hahas
&they said the same thing today again -.-
when class was going to end for the day,
green flower msged one of them asking me if ii miss him *faints*
ii gave tt kinda WTH look back to them after reading the sms -.-
Zz ~

ytd went to michBF's hse again,
wayneGF came along after awhile {x
headed to sunshine plaza*ii think tt's the name of the building right ?*
hahas ~
made Lovelle's library card ^^
then bought snacks !! xD
wahahahahas ~
gf was trying to make me not spend too much x.x
heh ~
then went to the playground first then headed back to bf's hse {x
watched channel8 show till 10 then played some puzzle quest
&headed home soon after.
XD

today after sch met with qiqiMEI&zenzen soon joined after tt,
just walked around&idk for fuckk my stomach hurt like hell !!
meimeii was pissed off with zenzen&me and she went off first,
then zenzen and me walked to mrt and parted there
sinced ii taking bus mahs x.x
walking is already torturing enough,
i felt like just letting myself faint right there,
but i cant ~
i'm much too far away from my own hse,
and come on ! alien's aint tt weak x.x
but ii did feel blurry all the way ..
luckily the bus came just when ii reached the bus stop ^^
it's still hurting but not as bad as before /=

deardearr seems so busy at camp
and ii thought they'd at least give 15-30mins time for them to use phone
ohwells ~
tt's why ii say CANNOT put 100% in..
&ii have other reasons for tt too /=
gf, bf, bbmeimeii&meimeii knows ~
is it just be being paranoid or is it really true ?
idk, only you know it yourself best ya ..

hope green flower would be in sch tmr,
ii rather get disturbed by him rather than small boy -.-
small boy's disturbing is really ..
making me feel like going into depression or either killing him !!
*grr ~
the matured thinking one would be botak !!
the rest of the class ppl ..
mostly c.m.i with their childish ways -.-
not all but most ~

Saturday, April 18

ytd was fun connecting back at bf's hse *mich*
^^v
yutingMyLady&wayneGf came first
then followed by pearlBBmeimeii {x
but by the time BBmeimeii reached,
wayneGF left lurs )x

Lovelle's grown so sooooooo big sinced the last time ii saw her xD
michBF's hair is sooooooo long already lurs x.x
tt makes my hair length the shortest .OMG !!
it's fun talking&connecting back with each other ^^
majong was fun too with yutingMyLady, kel.korkorr&his friend xD
ii lose like dunno what la -.-
Zz ~

to all 3 of you *
let's meet up as often alrights ?
i'm most probably be popping by to find mich weekly
or either once in 2 weeks sinced she's just 1 stop from my sch {x
so when i'm going again i'd update you all alrights ?
&hope by the next time we'd all have more time with each other.

rmber the times we used to have meeting every sat at cine ?
those were the crazy times we have which only consists of only us
the times where we weren't tt busy to put time off for a gathering
we dont even need to plan but just automatically would be there xD
hahas ~

those carefree days ii know might not be possible
but NOT impossible as long as we put in the effort ya ?
ii aint good with words but yea ~
ii think you all should understand ^^
hees *grins*
so ..
i'm looking forward to our next meetup..
&ii hope you all do too {x

Friday, April 17

woots !
at last got lappy to update my blog.
first day of sch was miserable till ii cried.
but after tt i'm happy with sch life {x

now i'm always with a group which consists of ..
green flower, botak, smallboy & me LOL
hahas
all guys x.x
it started with green flower disturbing me,
then botak&small boy is follow him de,
then green flower now is always follow me
arbo is he ask me go out with them or what.
hahas
he reminds me so much of my macpherson ite sillyboy !! xD
nice ppl but they sure know how to disturb me -.-
nbcb !! *grr ~
but they're fun to be with lurs ^^v
yea ~

school's fun now with them around {x
then today got one more guy come in..
he's like the only guy tt seems so beng-ish la x.x
next week start lesson lo ~
&it'll be 9+ more days till deardearr could book out of camp *GRINS*
lalalas~

kies lurs, stop here for now..
lazy type lurs x.x
&wont be logging in much as my lappy ganna rain water )x

Monday, April 13

now deardearr should be at tekong le.
&i'm crying not cos i miss him
but cos he havent msg me !! T.T
ii sms-ed him to tell me when he wakes up but nth at all .
ii purposely stayed awake till 6+ am to see if he's msg me,
but NOOOOOOOOOOO !!
nth at all ...
i'm disappointed/ sad& super paranoid now x.x

ytd night was a nice night of meeting up with pearlBBMEII&yutingMyLady
^^v
talked bout lotsa stuffs&targeted for something 2yrs time {x
love them to bits la !!! XD
missed our train x.x
so we all took different bus to somewhere near our hses.
but MyLady's bus was gone )x
BBmeimeii ii think she took to somewhere nearer to take taxi.
ii took the bus to opposite clementi bus station and walked home.
&bloody korkorr's kfc's drink leaked x.x


when ii reached home,
deardearr told me he going sleep lurs )x
then korkorr ask me spam maple for 1hr /=
deardearr's sent me an sms..
first time saying nites without any of the dear word
neither did he state love you.
it suddenly becomes so weird from tt moment he msg me tt..

&it just feels more weird when he didnt msg me ..
hais ~

then around 2+ reginA.IREN sms-ed me,
was going to bath tt time,
so hurried to bath then called her,
talked with her till 5:50 something then her phone died lurs.
hees ~

then continued to stay awake to see if deardearr wld sms me,
but no ..
soon ii fell asleep around 630+
&guess ii forgot to off my music then my phone died too
so didnt get to call dan zi wake up x.x
woke up at 11+
sigh ~

gonna wake airen up at 230 then prepare go bugis,
pei her to the temple there to pray {x
wed meeting her to go club,
would be just the 2 of us
&so far we planned to go to 3clubs tt night,
attica would be last for dancing,
arena&the one tt took over mos would be the first 2
if possible we'd be going as many clubs cos why ?
to drink our hearts out T.T
yes ..
we are tt emo yet high now ..
&it's ladies night so it's free ~~~~~~~~~~
then gonna ton at the bridge there then take first bus/train home
hais ..

shit la!!
i'm starting to get paranoid !! T.T
hais ..


















i miss him.
aitai.

Saturday, April 11

when he isnt by my side

deardearr's gonna serve army soon )x
so ..
how am ii suppose to cope with the 2weeks
where he wont be here,
where i wont be able to see or hug him .
these few days i'm mostly with him tt now ..
ii just suddenly feel so idk ..
kaos !

why must s'pore have army for so long -.-
why !?
some more not like he can talk to me whole night this time round /=
ii sware ii sure at home emo like F*** de lors,
some more ii no laptop x.x

no deardearr to see..
no deardearr to talk to till either one of us sleep..
no deardearr to go out with ..
no deardearr to hug with ..
no deardearr to disturb ..
no deardearr to find ..
during this WHOLE 2 HELLY BORING WEEKS !!
F*** LAAAAAAA !!
TMD !!

why must all guys go army )x
nbcb !!
*RARRS !
HEY YO PEOPLE !!
kies at last ii can use com x.x
my lappy ganna water so it aint workable now )x

thursday went out to watch shinjuku incident with deardearr xD
nice show and grulesome too cos of the hand ganna chop off x.x
wth la !!
TMD !!!
ahahahaas ~
after tt went deardearr hse stay over,
his newphew dam cute lurs !! xD
*KYAA ~~~

then lucky everyone is friendly arbo you see this lil alien turtle quiet at a corner x.x
lalalalas ~
then si deardearr forever like hungry de lors -.-
hahas
then he play dota but ii fell asleep while seeing him play halfway x.x
Zz ~

then jui shi fri lurs.
went to eat first then went to amk find his army stuffs
then went back to his hse then he prepare
then go back to my hse then my turn to prepare
then go bugis haji lane find qiqiMEI&angeline
for sheesha ~
then qiqi&angeline left early -.-
around 10+ then went to the new building at bugis
to explore around&saw reginaAIREN ^^v
the arcade there is POWER LURS !!
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO ~

then at 12+ walked to town cos bo bus lurs,
then waited for 1hr for my NR.
&ii didnt know at cine there no more lurs.
like WTFH LAAAAAAAAAAA !!
*grr ~
_l_
TMD !!
then deardearr so tired still waiting with me for my NR .
lucky the second NR5 stopped for me to board ^^v

then reached hm&slept at 3+ am
korkorr called me wake up at 1030 la -.-
to help him spam maple then in the end internet got problem x.x
so went to watch spongebob square pants !! XD
then prepare to meet jiji at paya lebar
talked bout army cos he also gonna enlist on monday ~
2 WEEKS LE !!
deardearr also -.-
then ii wld be rotting like dunno what liaos )x
*CRIESSSSSSSSSS ~

then went to amk buy contacts then go deardearr's hse
which is where ii am now blogging {x
hees ^^v
lalalalaas ~

later got Man-U match !!
yea ~
^^v
MAN-U ALL THE WAY YO !! ~
*grins*

&dumbdumb deardearr's gonna play dota after the match -.-
so ...
WTFH am ii suppose to do )x
*whinesssssss ~

BORED LA !!

Thursday, April 9

qiqiMEIMEII&me on Tuesday.cine {x



my sweet lil twin,
where we do things tgt
&pour out our feelings to each other.
be it happiness, sadness or anger.
aiming towards our goal tgt,
being there physically/mentally.
thinking up all the crazy ideas&laugh it off ~
xD

she's my other half *twin*
she's my happiness when i'm sad
she's my laughter when i'm angry
it's coming to 2yrs sinced we first knew each other.
or maybe it has already been 2yrs {x

thanks for everything,
for being there,
to share our ups&downs with each other ^^v
*&dont you dare cry after reading*
hahas XD
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\

\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
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\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
\*/I\*/L\*/O\*/V\*/E\*/Y\*/O\*/U\*/
/*\I/*\L/*\O/*\V/*\E/*\Y/*\O/*\U/*\
















lalalas ~
can't believe i'm so free to do this x.x
Zz ~
idk why ..
ii just feel like drowning myself right now..
drowning&not caring a single thing.
ii dont feel like doing anything,
dont feel like eating
dont feel like drinking
dont feel like living

ii wanna go for plastic surgery,
ii wanna be prettier,
ii wanna be numb so tt
ii could cut my own flash out .
the feeling of inferiority is so great
tt i actually hate myself so much now ~
ARGHH !! ~

feel like banging my head till ii get into a coma,
till i forget who i am..
okays, idk who ii am in the first place la -.-
hais ..

ii have the feeling to just take my penknife
not to slit my wrist but ..
to slit my face ..
to slit my neck for hope tt ii might cut till my wind pipe..
to slit myself dead ..

idk why i'm thinking all these ..
idk why i'm like this now ..
idk wth is wrong with me now..
i cant handle anything anymore ..

i'm lost ..
totally lost ..
is this a dream or reality ?
i feel useless ..
i feel inferior ..
i feel sadistic ..
i feel lonely ..
i feel unsafe ..
i feel empty ..
i feel like crying out of the sudden,
&i dont even know why ..

i'd just be looking and doing my own thing,
&the next thing i know is i'm crying ..
crying&not knowing why ..
ARGHHHHHH !!

ii feel like screaming my lungs out,
but i cant.
ii feel like crying my heart out,
but idk why.
ii feel worst than rubbish,
but i have to hide the facts.

if only ii can make a happy clone of myself,
then i stay home while tt clone entertain everyone tt knows me,
then i'd be able to fade away without worries.
this is the lyrics for the song i'm listening to.
the song is super nice la !
got this song from qiqiMEI {x

"If I Open Up My Heart To You"


It's still too soon to call it love
I know it's more then just a crush
we're getting closer every day
and when you look at me that way
all I can say

Is if I open up my heart to you
I just need to know you feel it too
will you be the one
to make my dreams come true
if I, if I open up my heart to you

I got a feeling this could be
something I thought I never see
you're on my mind
night after night
something keeps telling me
it's alright
so give me a sign..so

Is if I open up my heart to you
I just need to know you feel it too
will you be the one
to make my dreams come true
if I, if I open up my heart to you

You could be everything
that I've needed
but I can't take that chance
till I know that you're with me
till I know what your feeling
till I know where you stand

Till I, till I till I know where you stand
will you be the one to make
my dreams come true
if I,if I open up my heart to you
will you be the one there
to help me get though
if I, if I open up my heart to you

Wednesday, April 8

i'm lost ..
totally lost ..
idk why,
suicidal is the only thing ii can think now.
ii cant stop myself from feeling so down,
i miss deardearr but does he know ?
NOOOOOOOO ~
of cos no la /=
hais ~

i almost went crazy the whole day.
dont wanna say anything.
dont wanna type anything .
went to find qiqiMEI today
since he say cant ganna caught outside.

talked with meimeii&stuffs like tt.
then later go hougang mall,
then go pastamania eat eat xD
then go back her ahma hse ~
then we later talk till fell asleep x.x
heh ~

super tired /=
this emptiness ..
it hurts but why ?
this loneliness ..
ii hate it ~

Tuesday, April 7

th sweet dumbdumb&a family tt i'm tired of

today dumbdumb deardearr came dover mrt find me,
sorry for being so late x.x
didnt expect him to be same height as me lurs *GROWLS ~
but nvm, better mahs this way XD
&thanks for topping up my card x.x

took mrt to yishun then go yishun ite
cos ii needa apply for ite -.-"
so far lurs but bo bian,
cant waste anymore time .
now just need to settle finding a job x.x

then went cine find qiqiMEI&terrence
deardearr&me went to 4th lvl get movie tix first,
went to arcade to find&hug mummy*gan* xD
then went back to find deardearr ^^v
went to pasta mania to eat,
sorry for wasting so much time too before you cld eat x.x
then went toilet&took photos with qiqiMEI {x
photos would be up asap when meimeii update her blog ~

then parted with qiqiMEI&terrence,
thus we proceeded to 3rd lvl to just hmm .. rot ?
LOL
then went to 6th lvl for our movie 'unborn'
the ending is like erm .. wth -.-"
hahas

after movie went to heeren,
deardearr bought a polo tee there {x
then headed to far east plaza
then he bought 1short pants&1pants/jeans
the material dam nice lurs !! xD
then walk around,
nth to do then walked to taka ~

dumbdumb super suaku la !! =x
*bleaghh ~
ii thought tt there wont be anyone tt doesnt eat ToriQ !!
but ii was proven wrong by dumbdumb @.@
he dam cute la !!
buy once then go back buy again ^^v
hees ~

then hear dumbdumb talk talk till taka off light lo ~~~~~~~~
then walked to my bus stop FA DAI !! x.x
took 111 instead cos ii purposely wanna walk a longer distance home slowly /=
idk lurs, just felt down but idk why .
&my feet is hurting like OMFG la -.-

reached home then nbcb mumsie ask where ii go,
then ii tell her go yishun apply for ite lors,
then she started nagging at me say study for what la !
then ii fuckking sibei dulan then ii just replied her,
"WHAT LA !! I PAY ALSO NOT YOU PAY YOU COMPLAIN WHAT LA !"
then dunno wtf she mumbling liaos _l_
knnbccb !!
fuckking hell spoil mood .! -.-_l_














dumbdumb deardearr*
thanks for everything,
sorry for not being able to say anything
when you tell me your problems.
sorry for not being able to say out
those words you wanna hear.

if i seem emo,
dont worry cos i aint.
if i do anything wrong,
tell me cos i'm blur bout everything.
i wont promise not to do anything stupid,
but i'll try.
dont bother so much bout what
i'm typing now.
cos my mind's in a mess&idk why either x.x

*d.a.i.s.u.k.i.d.a.y.o*






i'm gonna leave this hse asap
what for i go out and enjoy&thinking everything's okay
when in the end when everything seems fine,
then BOOMMMM !! it's not -.-
everything is my fault,
everything is me Me MEEEEEE !!

korkorr didn't even finish his SIM or poly or the other private sch
&you did not nag&say he wasted your money !!
when ii just change to MDIS to take private O's
&not studying in the end then you tell me ii waste you money.
so now i'm applying for ITE
&i'm fuckking hell paying everything myself
&here you still want to complain what FUCKK !?
nbcb !!

sinced young i'm always to blame for anything wrong,
i'm supposed to learn your tread in business,
learn then slowly take over.
then what about MY INTEREST !?
did you hear bout what i wanted so much to do ?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!
just cos i'm a girl&the youngest,
does tt mean ii have to take over you !?
does tt mean ii have to be blamed for everything !?

maybe ii really am just a jinx tt shouldn't exist in the first place then.
seriously ..
maybe ii really am a JINX !
when i'm born not long,
papa left this family.
when ii go to pri1, grandpa died.
when ii go to sec1, one of my uncle died
when ii go to first yr in macpherson ite, mummy's life detolerated
when ii go to MDIS, mummy's business detolerated
now this is the yr i'm going back to ITE,
&mummy lended in hospital cos of me.

well..
what more !?
why did only korkorr know bout the whole family thing
&ii know NUTS BOUT ANYTHING !?
to think tt korkorr's the one tt made me knew everything.
infact, i still cant believe this whole family is ..
this COMPLICATED !!

to think tt the lady tt used to work for you
is actually my older step sister,
&the korkorr ii always cant wait to see when young
is actually my older step brother.
to think tt the younger boy ii saw when papa came back to s'pore
is actually my younger step brother
then yrs later there's a younger step sister !!
like WTF !!

sometimes ..
ii hated papa for being this hong ..
but yet ii love papa to hate him..
but each time ii see poh heng outlets ..
it reminds me of everything ~
the secrets tt is kept from me.

why !?
why the fuck must i be born to this world ?
why must i be so stress over this thing again now ?
ii know it's not for me to be affected by it.
but somehow ..
it does .
it hurts ..

why am i still living ?
idk what's keeping me alive ..
why am i crying ?
idk either ..
papa use to pick up korkorr or my calls ..
but now ~
he doesnt do tt anymore ..

papa..
mama..
korkorr..
who am i ?
somehow i feel tt i really dont belong to this family.
is there a deeper darker secret tt idk ?
......

Monday, April 6

lalalas ~
060409* with dumbdumb xD
hees ^^v

dumbdumb's the hmm ..
3rd guy tt i'm tgt with before meeting him.
dont ask me why cos idk why either,
there's just tt particular connection between us nars x.x
lalalalalas ~

ii know ii know ~
i'm always saying staying single is better
but in the end also get into a relationship again =x
lalalas ~
tmr meet dumbdumb dear ^^v
hees xDD
*bleaghh ~

hope later ii wont be too engrossed with my cartoon till ii nv run T.T
cos later got my SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! xP
then after tt got my SCOOBYDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ~
*okays, ii sot plug lurs*
hees

arghhhhhhh ~
pimples coming out from sleeping late !!
TMD !!
-.-_l_










this lil alien turtle misses someone ..
someone called Rensen x33
xD

this is the lyrics for my blog song: littlest things {x

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There's no one in the world that could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
GLORY GLORY MAN-U !!
YEAAAAAAAA ~
wahahahas xD

lalalas ~
lazy update lurs x.x
might be changing link soon /=

Sunday, April 5

today's a real busy day of doing what !?
replying comments, msges on tagged -.-
WOW LA !! x.x
didn't know there would be this much ppl adding me,
&msging me then adding me on msn *faints*
jitao my whole laptop lag like OMFG !! +.+

korkorr just got the new lappy
&it's mother fooker SMALLLLLLLLLLLL !! -.-_l_

dun even have a freaking disc drive .
it's like wahhhhhhhhhhhhs so small,
the keypad is super ultra small too&so is the screen BUT !!
ii like it cos know why !?
GOT WEBCAM !!
hahahahas ~
but too bad ii cant use it now )x
i'm so gonna use it when korkorr goes to work on weekdays *grins*

&to jiji,
sorry but ii really dont know for now.
you're always saying things but never do
so how am ii suppose to trust you ?
there's so many times ii wanted to give up on you
&you know it very well yourself,
so why are you still always making me angry
&irritating me on stuffs II HATE YOU TO DO !?
ii warned you alot of times already didnt i ?
so why !? Why !? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you want to give up now and find a new target,
go ahead ~
ii wont stop you cos i'm already used to everything bout you .
since i'm already at my limit,
i really cannot be bothered anymore .

if you really do love me as you said,
you'd rmber what ii hate you doing,
you'd try to make me happy&smile instead of making me angry.
so what now ?
you want another chance ?
how many chances did ii give in to you !?
this time ..
prove to me before even asking for a chance .

everyone has limits.

Friday, April 3

ii have enough ~
i've made up my mind to totally take away
all feelings ii have for jiji !!
ever sinced he fuckking hell came back,
he's fuckking hell sibei vulgar -.-

being friends ii cannot tahan liaos,
if tgt ii think i'm gonna KILL HIM !!
*grr ~
so yea ~
^^V

i'm NOT gonna love jiji,
i'm gonna hmm ...
ii dunno /=
enjoy single life&not caring bout those tt woo me !
^^V

sillyboy still owes me my carrot for Hime !! *growls ~
he said he's planting a new batch of carrots -.-"
wth ! x.x
lalalas ~

i'm super bored .!
been taking care of my resturant city the whole afternoon -.-
can you imagine tt *faints*
&ii didnt even know tt ii have an acc at tagged
till today x.x
some more it's been YEARSSSSS *omfg !*
my tagged profile is now being flooded by sillyboy ! xD

B.O.R.E.D is the word for today -.-
hahas

Thursday, April 2

idk why,
but why do ii always seem so agitated with zijie ?
though ii know he's joking but why ..
why do ii take it so seriously ?
he asked why cant ii be more gentle towards him,
idk either..
it's just my normal reaction towards him,
which is sooo different from others /=

how important am i to him ?
how important is he to me ?
idk idk&ii really dunno ~

what's love ?
how does it feel like ?
why must love exist !?
why am ii having this days of questions again !?
dam ..

who am i;
what am i;
what's my purpose in life;
what's happening around me;
what am i suppose to do when everything's gone;
how did i fall into such a dilemma;
why am i troubled over the littlest questions in life ?

who am i to him ?
who is he to me ?
am i just gonna slack&rot my whole life away ?
how i wish life's a fairytale,
then there'd always be happy-ending ~
okays,
maybe not all have happy-ending but most do /=

why am ii typing so much now ?
what do ii wanna do now ?
idk anymore,
ii cant seem to think anymore ..

so i love him or do i not .?
does he love me or does he not .?
how true are guy's words&promises ?
zijie, wont you tell me everything ?
but ii guess you cant too,
cos you wont know the answers to everything /=

why ?
ii know ii know ~
my blog's getting dead x.x
&so am i !!
i'm dead bored at home -.-

si jiji like come back s'pore so many things to do !!
nb !
&guess what !?
i'm now danzi's personal alarm clock *faints*
waking up at 655 everyday just to call tt piggie wake up +.+
then he'd fall back to sleep&i'd call 5 mins later ~
*bahhs ~

i'm beginning to run and exercise these days ~
surprised right !?
dont ask me why, ii just feel the need to keep fit now -.-
&ohboy !! my stamina dropped so much lurs !!!!!!
*SCREAMS*

went running just now for bout 3km ?
then walked back home cos my head was spinning ~~~~
&then i had BUBBLE BATH !! xD
wahahahas ~
envy me yo !
=x

kies lurs,
not gonna update tt much,
need to sleep x.x
energy all disappear lurs ~



ZIJIE !!

when go botanical garden !?
hurry uhhs ! dumbdumb china old man!! =x
*bleaghh ~~
dont scold me hors, nobody knows who you are yet.
LOL