Thursday, April 9

this is the lyrics for the song i'm listening to.
the song is super nice la !
got this song from qiqiMEI {x

"If I Open Up My Heart To You"


It's still too soon to call it love
I know it's more then just a crush
we're getting closer every day
and when you look at me that way
all I can say

Is if I open up my heart to you
I just need to know you feel it too
will you be the one
to make my dreams come true
if I, if I open up my heart to you

I got a feeling this could be
something I thought I never see
you're on my mind
night after night
something keeps telling me
it's alright
so give me a sign..so

Is if I open up my heart to you
I just need to know you feel it too
will you be the one
to make my dreams come true
if I, if I open up my heart to you

You could be everything
that I've needed
but I can't take that chance
till I know that you're with me
till I know what your feeling
till I know where you stand

Till I, till I till I know where you stand
will you be the one to make
my dreams come true
if I,if I open up my heart to you
will you be the one there
to help me get though
if I, if I open up my heart to you

Wednesday, April 8

i'm lost ..
totally lost ..
idk why,
suicidal is the only thing ii can think now.
ii cant stop myself from feeling so down,
i miss deardearr but does he know ?
NOOOOOOOO ~
of cos no la /=
hais ~

i almost went crazy the whole day.
dont wanna say anything.
dont wanna type anything .
went to find qiqiMEI today
since he say cant ganna caught outside.

talked with meimeii&stuffs like tt.
then later go hougang mall,
then go pastamania eat eat xD
then go back her ahma hse ~
then we later talk till fell asleep x.x
heh ~

super tired /=
this emptiness ..
it hurts but why ?
this loneliness ..
ii hate it ~

Tuesday, April 7

th sweet dumbdumb&a family tt i'm tired of

today dumbdumb deardearr came dover mrt find me,
sorry for being so late x.x
didnt expect him to be same height as me lurs *GROWLS ~
but nvm, better mahs this way XD
&thanks for topping up my card x.x

took mrt to yishun then go yishun ite
cos ii needa apply for ite -.-"
so far lurs but bo bian,
cant waste anymore time .
now just need to settle finding a job x.x

then went cine find qiqiMEI&terrence
deardearr&me went to 4th lvl get movie tix first,
went to arcade to find&hug mummy*gan* xD
then went back to find deardearr ^^v
went to pasta mania to eat,
sorry for wasting so much time too before you cld eat x.x
then went toilet&took photos with qiqiMEI {x
photos would be up asap when meimeii update her blog ~

then parted with qiqiMEI&terrence,
thus we proceeded to 3rd lvl to just hmm .. rot ?
LOL
then went to 6th lvl for our movie 'unborn'
the ending is like erm .. wth -.-"
hahas

after movie went to heeren,
deardearr bought a polo tee there {x
then headed to far east plaza
then he bought 1short pants&1pants/jeans
the material dam nice lurs !! xD
then walk around,
nth to do then walked to taka ~

dumbdumb super suaku la !! =x
*bleaghh ~
ii thought tt there wont be anyone tt doesnt eat ToriQ !!
but ii was proven wrong by dumbdumb @.@
he dam cute la !!
buy once then go back buy again ^^v
hees ~

then hear dumbdumb talk talk till taka off light lo ~~~~~~~~
then walked to my bus stop FA DAI !! x.x
took 111 instead cos ii purposely wanna walk a longer distance home slowly /=
idk lurs, just felt down but idk why .
&my feet is hurting like OMFG la -.-

reached home then nbcb mumsie ask where ii go,
then ii tell her go yishun apply for ite lors,
then she started nagging at me say study for what la !
then ii fuckking sibei dulan then ii just replied her,
"WHAT LA !! I PAY ALSO NOT YOU PAY YOU COMPLAIN WHAT LA !"
then dunno wtf she mumbling liaos _l_
knnbccb !!
fuckking hell spoil mood .! -.-_l_














dumbdumb deardearr*
thanks for everything,
sorry for not being able to say anything
when you tell me your problems.
sorry for not being able to say out
those words you wanna hear.

if i seem emo,
dont worry cos i aint.
if i do anything wrong,
tell me cos i'm blur bout everything.
i wont promise not to do anything stupid,
but i'll try.
dont bother so much bout what
i'm typing now.
cos my mind's in a mess&idk why either x.x

*d.a.i.s.u.k.i.d.a.y.o*






i'm gonna leave this hse asap
what for i go out and enjoy&thinking everything's okay
when in the end when everything seems fine,
then BOOMMMM !! it's not -.-
everything is my fault,
everything is me Me MEEEEEE !!

korkorr didn't even finish his SIM or poly or the other private sch
&you did not nag&say he wasted your money !!
when ii just change to MDIS to take private O's
&not studying in the end then you tell me ii waste you money.
so now i'm applying for ITE
&i'm fuckking hell paying everything myself
&here you still want to complain what FUCKK !?
nbcb !!

sinced young i'm always to blame for anything wrong,
i'm supposed to learn your tread in business,
learn then slowly take over.
then what about MY INTEREST !?
did you hear bout what i wanted so much to do ?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!
just cos i'm a girl&the youngest,
does tt mean ii have to take over you !?
does tt mean ii have to be blamed for everything !?

maybe ii really am just a jinx tt shouldn't exist in the first place then.
seriously ..
maybe ii really am a JINX !
when i'm born not long,
papa left this family.
when ii go to pri1, grandpa died.
when ii go to sec1, one of my uncle died
when ii go to first yr in macpherson ite, mummy's life detolerated
when ii go to MDIS, mummy's business detolerated
now this is the yr i'm going back to ITE,
&mummy lended in hospital cos of me.

well..
what more !?
why did only korkorr know bout the whole family thing
&ii know NUTS BOUT ANYTHING !?
to think tt korkorr's the one tt made me knew everything.
infact, i still cant believe this whole family is ..
this COMPLICATED !!

to think tt the lady tt used to work for you
is actually my older step sister,
&the korkorr ii always cant wait to see when young
is actually my older step brother.
to think tt the younger boy ii saw when papa came back to s'pore
is actually my younger step brother
then yrs later there's a younger step sister !!
like WTF !!

sometimes ..
ii hated papa for being this hong ..
but yet ii love papa to hate him..
but each time ii see poh heng outlets ..
it reminds me of everything ~
the secrets tt is kept from me.

why !?
why the fuck must i be born to this world ?
why must i be so stress over this thing again now ?
ii know it's not for me to be affected by it.
but somehow ..
it does .
it hurts ..

why am i still living ?
idk what's keeping me alive ..
why am i crying ?
idk either ..
papa use to pick up korkorr or my calls ..
but now ~
he doesnt do tt anymore ..

papa..
mama..
korkorr..
who am i ?
somehow i feel tt i really dont belong to this family.
is there a deeper darker secret tt idk ?
......

Monday, April 6

lalalas ~
060409* with dumbdumb xD
hees ^^v

dumbdumb's the hmm ..
3rd guy tt i'm tgt with before meeting him.
dont ask me why cos idk why either,
there's just tt particular connection between us nars x.x
lalalalalas ~

ii know ii know ~
i'm always saying staying single is better
but in the end also get into a relationship again =x
lalalas ~
tmr meet dumbdumb dear ^^v
hees xDD
*bleaghh ~

hope later ii wont be too engrossed with my cartoon till ii nv run T.T
cos later got my SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! xP
then after tt got my SCOOBYDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ~
*okays, ii sot plug lurs*
hees

arghhhhhhh ~
pimples coming out from sleeping late !!
TMD !!
-.-_l_










this lil alien turtle misses someone ..
someone called Rensen x33
xD

this is the lyrics for my blog song: littlest things {x

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There's no one in the world that could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
GLORY GLORY MAN-U !!
YEAAAAAAAA ~
wahahahas xD

lalalas ~
lazy update lurs x.x
might be changing link soon /=

Sunday, April 5

today's a real busy day of doing what !?
replying comments, msges on tagged -.-
WOW LA !! x.x
didn't know there would be this much ppl adding me,
&msging me then adding me on msn *faints*
jitao my whole laptop lag like OMFG !! +.+

korkorr just got the new lappy
&it's mother fooker SMALLLLLLLLLLLL !! -.-_l_

dun even have a freaking disc drive .
it's like wahhhhhhhhhhhhs so small,
the keypad is super ultra small too&so is the screen BUT !!
ii like it cos know why !?
GOT WEBCAM !!
hahahahas ~
but too bad ii cant use it now )x
i'm so gonna use it when korkorr goes to work on weekdays *grins*

&to jiji,
sorry but ii really dont know for now.
you're always saying things but never do
so how am ii suppose to trust you ?
there's so many times ii wanted to give up on you
&you know it very well yourself,
so why are you still always making me angry
&irritating me on stuffs II HATE YOU TO DO !?
ii warned you alot of times already didnt i ?
so why !? Why !? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you want to give up now and find a new target,
go ahead ~
ii wont stop you cos i'm already used to everything bout you .
since i'm already at my limit,
i really cannot be bothered anymore .

if you really do love me as you said,
you'd rmber what ii hate you doing,
you'd try to make me happy&smile instead of making me angry.
so what now ?
you want another chance ?
how many chances did ii give in to you !?
this time ..
prove to me before even asking for a chance .

everyone has limits.

Friday, April 3

ii have enough ~
i've made up my mind to totally take away
all feelings ii have for jiji !!
ever sinced he fuckking hell came back,
he's fuckking hell sibei vulgar -.-

being friends ii cannot tahan liaos,
if tgt ii think i'm gonna KILL HIM !!
*grr ~
so yea ~
^^V

i'm NOT gonna love jiji,
i'm gonna hmm ...
ii dunno /=
enjoy single life&not caring bout those tt woo me !
^^V

sillyboy still owes me my carrot for Hime !! *growls ~
he said he's planting a new batch of carrots -.-"
wth ! x.x
lalalas ~

i'm super bored .!
been taking care of my resturant city the whole afternoon -.-
can you imagine tt *faints*
&ii didnt even know tt ii have an acc at tagged
till today x.x
some more it's been YEARSSSSS *omfg !*
my tagged profile is now being flooded by sillyboy ! xD

B.O.R.E.D is the word for today -.-
hahas

Thursday, April 2

idk why,
but why do ii always seem so agitated with zijie ?
though ii know he's joking but why ..
why do ii take it so seriously ?
he asked why cant ii be more gentle towards him,
idk either..
it's just my normal reaction towards him,
which is sooo different from others /=

how important am i to him ?
how important is he to me ?
idk idk&ii really dunno ~

what's love ?
how does it feel like ?
why must love exist !?
why am ii having this days of questions again !?
dam ..

who am i;
what am i;
what's my purpose in life;
what's happening around me;
what am i suppose to do when everything's gone;
how did i fall into such a dilemma;
why am i troubled over the littlest questions in life ?

who am i to him ?
who is he to me ?
am i just gonna slack&rot my whole life away ?
how i wish life's a fairytale,
then there'd always be happy-ending ~
okays,
maybe not all have happy-ending but most do /=

why am ii typing so much now ?
what do ii wanna do now ?
idk anymore,
ii cant seem to think anymore ..

so i love him or do i not .?
does he love me or does he not .?
how true are guy's words&promises ?
zijie, wont you tell me everything ?
but ii guess you cant too,
cos you wont know the answers to everything /=

why ?
ii know ii know ~
my blog's getting dead x.x
&so am i !!
i'm dead bored at home -.-

si jiji like come back s'pore so many things to do !!
nb !
&guess what !?
i'm now danzi's personal alarm clock *faints*
waking up at 655 everyday just to call tt piggie wake up +.+
then he'd fall back to sleep&i'd call 5 mins later ~
*bahhs ~

i'm beginning to run and exercise these days ~
surprised right !?
dont ask me why, ii just feel the need to keep fit now -.-
&ohboy !! my stamina dropped so much lurs !!!!!!
*SCREAMS*

went running just now for bout 3km ?
then walked back home cos my head was spinning ~~~~
&then i had BUBBLE BATH !! xD
wahahahas ~
envy me yo !
=x

kies lurs,
not gonna update tt much,
need to sleep x.x
energy all disappear lurs ~



ZIJIE !!

when go botanical garden !?
hurry uhhs ! dumbdumb china old man!! =x
*bleaghh ~~
dont scold me hors, nobody knows who you are yet.
LOL