*

mummy came back home not long&she suddenly asked if korkorr or me got contact papa.
ii told her tt papa stopped picking up our calls already&he'd only pick up when ii use the hse phone
but once ii say hello then all would be quiet&after a few secs.. connection wld be disconnected ..
ii cldnt look at mummy after telling her tt cos my eyes started being teary,
ii miss papa ~
ii want papa back, ii havent even seen him this yr !!
why must papa abandon us behind ?

ii keep rmbering mummy telling me papa only bought b'dea cake for me once,
but tt was cos she asked him to ~
tt time ii was 3yrs old, infact ..
ii dont think ii even have any photos taken with papa inside,
but korkorr have so much ~
does papa dislike me so much ? what did i do ?
after 3yrs old, papa left for cambodia ~
only coming back when ii reached 7yrs old but tt was when ii saw this man walking when ii end sch
ii straight away called him papa !
for yrs in pri sch ii keep asking mama why papa isnt living with us ~
mama always avoided the question ..

ii only knew bout the whole family when ii was 17yrs old&tt's cos korkorr told me
he didnt know tt ii know nuts bout the family.
ii had no idea at all ~
being kept in the dark, it just seems like mama doesnt intend to let me know anything.
ii know lotsa grieve inside mama cos ii started reading her diary since pri sch,
it was a moment of curiosity tt made me feel the aches in her heart,
the weight on her tt she had to live with for the sake of us her children.
but yet i'd be so darn lazy to help her at times&turning a deaf ear to her ~

now ii just wanna find out more ~
why papa seem to hate me ?
why papa's avoiding us ?
why papa cld just have another family so easily ?
why papa wont buy any cakey for me on my b'dea ?
why ?

papa, Doko ni iru no?